Bunnies

“How was your day?” he asked.  I groaned.  He laughed. 

Julio (name changed) and I were headed to band practice a few years ago.  Julio didn’t have a car, so I’d pick him up in Greenwood and we’d head across the Aurora Bridge into West Seattle 1-2 times a week for rehearsals.  We’d always talk about our days.  Julio was (and still is) a great conversationalist.

I remember that day being particularly brutal.  At the time, I was working at a company with a large volunteer corps.  Several thousand, actually, spread across the globe.  That’s not an exaggeration.  I was in charge of them all.  And whether it was fair or not, there were forces within the company that held me at least partially responsible for their actions.  My weeks were full of meetings, policy documentation, program creation, and uncomfortable conversations to the tune of 55+ hours a week.  I suppose what I was doing was important at some level to someone.  I just mostly remember being exhausted and waking up at 4am with my mind ablaze.

Julio listened, nodded sympathetically.  Julio is arguably the best guitarist I have ever played with.  His intelligence simmers quietly behind kind eyes, and you don’t realized how capable he is until you find yourself in need of some skill or knowledge and invariably Julio has it.  He could be a player in many arenas if he wanted.  But he had chosen a simpler life.  He works to make money to do what he wants to do.  That’s enough.

His turn.  “So, Julio, what did you do today?”

In his slow, thoughtful cadence, he recounted a day of getting up a bit late, playing guitar, making lunch in his small apartment, culminated by a walk down to the park.  “I fed the bunnies”, he recounted, a small smile spreading across his face.  It was clear that he enjoyed the experience. 

Julio is not lazy.  He’s a hard worker and not afraid to get his hands dirty.  He is, however, doing what he wants to do.  And on this day it was feeding the urban bunnies that live in our parks.

I like working hard.  Just like the majority of the 99%, I am sure.  But I also like having time for other pursuits.  For a while there, the two were almost incompatible.  The job demanded more and more, and I slept less.   The pay was okay, but the pressure was nonstop.  And forget having any time to feed the bunnies.  You have more important things to do. 

Until that evening, when Julio gently reminded me that there’s a big difference between what is important and what is necessary. 

Getting to work by 6am?  Late nights drafting documents?  Postponing celebrations to hit deadlines?  Hitting goals with limited budget?  Endless forum management? 

Necessary.  It’s what I was hired to do.  No surprises or regrets there. 

Being able to sleep through the night?  Hang out with friends?  Create?  Be spontaneous every now and then?  Enjoy occasional moments of serenity?   Feed the bunnies?

Important. 

The company that was demanding so much of my time would soon reorganize and dissolve my position.  Twice, in point of fact.  All my hard work is now, at best, a footnote in a disused server somewhere. 

Important?  Probably not. 

I still work hard.  I put in 20-70 hours a week on music, depending what’s on the burner or if I’m on tour.  I still sometimes wake up at 4am with my mind on fire.  I still agonize over things that probably aren’t that meaningful.    

But there’s time now.  Time to do the important things.  And that’s worth a lot.

I haven’t gotten to actually feeding the bunnies in the park yet.

But soon.

-anoN

Multiplication

Funny thing happened in the studio.

We went in with one project and came out with 3. 

Oddly enough, that’s part of the plan.  It’s still weird when something actually goes according to plan. 

I’ve gone on at length in the past about how Shai Azul is an ensemble, not a ‘band’ per se.  I’ve been in a million ‘bands’.  I know how they breathe and work.  And I wanted something else.   I wanted a creative place where people could come and go as they were able and interested. That has its’ own set of headaches, yeah.  But it has some upsides. 

This summer, while in the studio, some of our ensemble had drastic changes in their availability.  Nothing toxic or dramatic, just changes in life and careers.  Thing is, if you’re a ‘band’ and a key player steps aside… you’re pretty much done.  In our case?  Projects that existed as concepts and back-burner ideas emerged to fill the vacuum. 

The scary thing is that these other projects have arisen in addition to Shai Azul, not as replacements.  These days, it’s a case of listening to a new scratch track or composition and wondering “Hunh… who gets THIS tune?”

The first, which I’ll call “Caligula”, is closer to my original vision for Shai Azul; electronic/industrial dance hall music.  Some have asked me what the difference between the two projects is.  It’s admittedly kind of arbitrary. The best way to say it is that Shai Azul is far more lyrical, and became so early on.  Songs MEAN something, with an emotional content we want to communicate, whether it’s a heavy, fast tune or a more atmospheric one.  Caligula, on the other hand, is all about having fun. Nothing to prove here. Just thumpy, sweaty, have another gin and tonic, turn-it-up-loud and dance/drive/do housework/whatever fun.  Some of it is strictly instrumental.  Some of it is a chance for Vic and I to try our hand at singing.  Caligula is developing a sci-fi bent, from the actual name of the project to the proposed artwork to the tonalities of the keyboards to some of the lyrics (one tune is based around an HG Wells quote).  We’ll see how much that sci-fi thing ends up sticking.  At this point, it’s mostly me and Vic; we’ll probably drag Oily and Carl and one of the girls into it at some point.  We have about 7-8 scratch tracks for this one so far. I’d like to have about 12-15 to choose the best from.  Having this out by the end of the year or early next is realistic.

“Operation Bluebook” is Oily’s baby, and a bit harder to explain. I’ll try to get him on one of these blogs at some point.  Oily has an ambitious science/horror/ambient concept that he wants to get across in about a 5-6 song EP.  Instead of producer, I’m a player and arranger.  It’s already pushed me musically.  I mean, how do you compose something that emotes rising panic, or claustrophobia, or dread of an undefinable horror without the lyrics spelling it out?  The whole project is like this, and I am enjoying it immensely so far.  We had a great session this week where we collectively figured out our overarching direction.  This will also probably be the first project where we’ll need to recruit some folks from outside the usual Shai Azul orbit.  Hard to say when this one will come out; look for first quarter 2012 as a guess. 

Shai Azul remains cohesive and vital, if somewhat delayed.  I’m not ready to announce any lineup changes yet; some things are still in flux and I want to let those things sort themselves out a bit first.  And in an ensemble like ours, nobody ‘leaves’ permanently unless they decide they don’t want to be a part of it anymore.  We are continuing to record Infernal Divine (did I just mention the name of the second CD?  I guess I just did…); in fact, it’s about 85% done and mixing will commence in October.  We are still looking for the right vocalist to complete 1-2 of the songs.  AND we are already writing scratch tracks for the third CD.  This is not the kind of energy you put into a project you’ve written off. 

So, yeah… change seems to have made the ensemble even more creative and vital. Between Shai Azul, Operation Bluebook, Caligula, and all the other projects in the works, it’s going to be a busy fall…

-anoN

The Calm

I took this picture a few weeks ago while on tour with the theatre troupe.  We were about an hour away from performing the first show of the season to about 600 kids and adults.  We’d set everything up a little more downstage than normal, which meant that even our usual rat’s nest of cables was hidden behind curtains or back walls.  In short, we ended up with a relatively wide, uncluttered corridor from one end of the stage to the other.  That doesn’t happen very much.

Some people might call it stark, or empty, or black.

I call it peaceful.

It’s not an exaggeration to say that the number of times I’ve hit the stage in a musical or performance capacity over the years is easily in the 4 digits.  I don’t get nervous or jittery anymore.  In fact, I think the last time I had any performance butterflies was for a show at Folklife, playing for, oh, what… 3,000 people?   Even that was at least 4 years ago. 

Still, I find that I still need to get ready mentally, even if my stomach isn’t doing flip-flops.  My Other will attest that I usually vanish off by myself about 60-90 minutes before a gig.  Don’t mean to be rude.  Just need to be silent for a bit.  Tune up.  Maybe run through some warmup exercises (a must when playing with the metal band).  And just take in the stillness. 

I can’t tell you why lurking in the shadows like a dime-novel villain amps me up for a performance.  All I know is that it does.  I don’t question it.  And I don’t feel quite right if I don’t get a chance to do it. 

Shai Azul is in a calm of sorts right now.  The singers are recording and re-recording their parts.  Collaborations are waiting for other comments.  Disc 2 is approaching completion; disc 3 is forming.  Not a huge amount for me to do personally right now.

Other than find the dark, quiet place.  Breathe.  Focus.  Rest for a moment.

Because the curtain always goes up eventually. And you need to be ready when it does. 

-anoN

Level Up (Vic)

Hey kids, this is Vic.  First a quick note about me.  I am not a musician by trade although I have played the drums and bass guitar in the past.  I am a visual artist, photographer, and have dabbled in 
poetry and song writing.  Shai Azul is my first official step into the  music world and it’s been a helluva ride so far.  I think anoN brought me in because I am an outsider, artistic, and have some unique 
perspectives on music and I tend to push him in musical directions he had never considered. 

What really fascinates me about the music creation process is how much more organic it is than visual arts as  far as the actual creation is concerned.  There is a great deal of back and forth collaboration with the band mates, audio engineer, songwriters, singers, etc.  The music can change course at any 
moment.  It was a new form of artistic creation and expression that I had not experienced before even though music has been such a huge inspiration in my life and my art.  Anyway, I thought it was high time that I had some input on the blog about my experience with Shai Azul, and I figured that this weekend’s session was definitely worth writing about.  So let’s begin ^_^

Tanya was in town for the weekend so we decided to hit 3 new songs that needed her vocals: Communion and the songs I wrote, Faith and Infrared.  On the way to Birdhouse Studio I was talking with Tanya about my discussion with anoN concerning more emotional impact in the songs.  Technically they were very good, but as an artist I felt that we could take the vocals to the next level.  I had a few examples that I thought had an emotional impact for me: Bjork’s All is Full of Love and QueensRyche’s Someone Else (acoustic version).  Both of these songs had a way of tapping that emotional lizard brain for me and I wanted to have our new songs deliver the listener a visceral response.  Have you ever stood in front of a painting and after staring at it you feel draw into the canvas?  Feel emotionally 
connected to the scene, the color, the texture?  This is what I would like out of our music, to draw the listener in.  To make the music visual.

The session started out very well despite Tanya being a bit sick.  The first song, Communion, was executed very nicely.  I recommended that we add a very deep monk chant in the background of the chorus.  Our comrade, Anthony, was able to pull it off after some experimentation.  With a slight tweak by our engineer, Chris, we had an awesome and haunting chant that sounded like it was in a grand cathedral. I was still thinking that we could get more emotion in the music.  So I decided to call my brother, Alberto, in Manhattan.  He is an actor, director, and published playwright.  He is also a professional acting coach.  I talked to him on what I wanted out of the music and he said 
he could do some coaching to Tanya.  After she wrapped Communion I put her on the phone with him and the rest of us took a beer/smoke break.  

Not long after, she came out of the sound-booth and seamed a bit...different, emotional.  We tied up a few loose ends with Communion and jumped into Faith.

Faith is song that is emotionally charged with despair so I was anxious to see how it would go.  After the first verse I knew that my brother’s coaching had brought a change to the surface.  Her voice was 
rich with sadness and loss. It was something new.  She was taking her voice to a new level and we all new it!  We did a series of takes where Tanya experimented with some different ways of singing the 
chorus and other takes to correct a variety of other items.  By the end of that session we had a solid emotional track.  I had never been more impressed by her performance. 

That is, until she started the next song. }:-)

Next up was Infrared.  Since it is a duet we had temporary tracks of Oily’s voice and Tanya was going to redo hers.   Now, this song is in a complete 180º direction as far as the content of the lyrics and 
musical style.  Its sexually charged, naughty, laced with innuendos, and has a pounding rhythm.  After listening to the tune, and doing the mental exercise my brother taught her, she dove into the song.  Oh... Wow!  The song suddenly exploded with energy and intensity.  We did several takes with Tanya owing the music and bending it to her will.  Sometimes, the way she sang... well it made us giggle and blush, haha!  Chris had some extra fun by adding some cool audio FX. In my humble opinion, we had the most fun recording this song.

Faith and Infrared are my first two songs that I have seen to near completion.  I don’t think that it could be going any better as far as the experience is concerned.  But, there is still much to do before we 
release this album.  Now it’s my turn to level up so anoN let me borrow one of his keyboards and I will be learning to play, at least enough to get the music in my head into chords and notes.  I feel the 
need to be more connected to the music instead of just writing and directing my tunes.  As an artist, if you are not fully engaged with your medium, be it music or photography or painting, the observer of 
your art WILL know it.  This is why it is so important to me for us to be engaged as much possible with the music we make.

I want you to share in the experience of our music.

-Vic

Kite

There’s a park near us.  It used to be a military base; in fact, Dad anoN was stationed there during the Korean War.  Over the years, it’s been slowly repurposed to be a public area of walking trails, picnic areas, and overlooks. A prettier area in the city of Seattle you will not find.

The old parade grounds, by the way, make a perfect place to fly kites.

Which is exactly what we did, a few weekends ago.  Me.  My Other and her delta-winged kite, which she can get aloft when there’s hardly a whisper of wind.  Oily and Sylvia.  Vic, Kelly, and their  son, Leo.

Oily and Sylvia brought their dual-line kites; parasails on strings.  It’s been a long time since I flew a dual-line.  We had a delta wing dual line kite early on in our marriage, when we had lots of time and not a lot of money.  We flew it enough (and crashed it enough) that we eventually wore it out.  But these parasail constructs looked much more capable of taking punishment.  And Oily was having a great time buzzing us and making it dance in midair.

He turns to me with a big grin and says, “Wanna give it a go?”

I give it a go.

I am less than graceful.  I crash it quickly several times, much to the amusement of the rest of the gang.  But I slowly remember how to control the dual lines.  I remember how to make it go left and right.  Oily instructs me on how a parasail works.  A tug here and this happens.  A sharp, repeated tug on both lines and it rises. 

Soon I am making it do figure 8s and guiding it across the breezy sky.  I’m not as good as Oily is, but I’m having a blast. 

I don’t know what any bypassers might have thought, seeing two grown men hoot and yell with delight as we guided a flying sail through loops, bends, and near misses with the ground. 

But you know, it doesn’t matter.

This world isn’t much for encouraging dreamers.  It will always tell you that you’re too something.  Too thin.  Too fat.  Too uneducated.  Too awkward.  Too old.  Too young.  Too late.   Too early.  Too risky.  Too unattainable.  Too anything. 

It’s not personal.  It’s just that there’s always reasons NOT to do something.  Which it seems are all too quick to be pointed out to you one way or another. 

Me?  I’m tired of giving those voices any more credibility.  I’m going to go fly a kite.  I’m sure it looks stupid to some and I’ll crash it a lot.  Hey, whatever.  It’s not life or death.  It’s flying a kite.  And it’s fun. 

Besides.

You might be with me one day at the park.  And I may turn to you with a big grin and say, “Wanna give it a go?”

-anoN